What do men want in a woman? It may seem like a loaded question, but really the answer is quite simple. While every guy has his own preferences when it comes to the physical–some like blondes, some like brunettes; some like petite, some like curvy–there are several fundamental qualities that all men crave in a woman.

The media might lead you to believe that getting a man is all about the physical: what you wear, how you do your makeup, the right push-up bra, the right scent. These things will certainly help you attract a man, but will do little to keep him interested and invested.

This is what it takes to be a man’s ultimate dream girl:

1. Appreciates Him Men are starved for appreciation. No man is going to come right out and say it, so you’re really going to have to take my word for it. In relationships, women mostly want to feel loved and understood. What men want most is to be appreciated and respected. Rather than focusing on what your man isn’t doing, try to hone in on the good things he is doing (there have to be some).

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There is no greater feeling to a man that that of being truly seen and appreciated for who he is by the woman he cares about. The trouble is a lot of women can’t see past the things he isn’t doing right. And what’s worse is a lot of women will harp on a man over these things, which makes him less inclined to do the things she wants. Instead, it makes him feel like a failure and he will shut down as a result.

If you can genuinely appreciate the little things he does, he will go out of his way to do the big things as well.

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